Incompatability vs. Differences

So many couples focus on the differences between them and talk about how that means they are incompatible. What then can begin is a whole new pattern of looking at the negatives or to be more exact looking at the differences as negatives.

For a successful relationship it is important to look at the differences and appreciate, accept, and respect them. What can be learned in therapy however, is to uncover the differences that are underlying the conflicts. As examples how the two of you may process things differently, you may learn in different ways, you may make decisions in different ways, etc. These are the important differences that need to be explored and understood instead of focusing on the negatives and leaping straight to incompatibility.