Masks

I think the tendency for us to portray ourselves a certain way is interesting. We all have this mask we present to people, whether it be as a strong person, a weak person, a kind person, a quiet person, a loud person, a confident person. There are a few different reasons why we use these masks to protect ourselves, because we are scared, because we are insecure, because we have learned to use them that way.

A large part of growing is to learn how to integrate the person you are inside and the person you portray. You can be both. People tend to get stuck in this either or mentality, I'm either strong or I'm weak. Very black and white thinking. Therapy likes the gray area. Sometimes you can be strong and sometimes you can be weak, you can be both. The growing part comes when you work on the reasons why you are scared, or have fears, or working out your insecurities, so that you can embrace the person you are inside and out and be whole.

Sometimes people with a strong mask can get caught up thinking about their fears and insecurities and feel lost in hopelessness. To that I sometimes remind them that they have this mask also. The mask is a part of you and you can get in touch with it.

Some would argue that in order to combine the two and be a whole person, one would need to completely break apart first in order to put all the pieces back together again. There is some truth to this, but it's not as scary as it sounds.

One needs to examine all the parts of what makes them who they are, thoroughly. This would require looking at things in your life that have brought you pain, suffering, resentments, anger, etc. As well as figuring out what you believe, what your thoughts are, and what your values and morals are. Basically differentiating yourself.

The mask nor the person inside does not need to be the only you. You can have different aspects to you and be both. The other thing to always remember is that everyone is just as insecure as you. Everyone is thinking about themselves and how they seem in the eyes of other people.