Worry and Control

Sometimes we can make ourselves crazy by worry, anxiety, and stress. At the root of most of anxiety is the notion of control. Fear of losing control, fear of not having control. The one thing we are all in control of is ourselves. Even despite hormonal and chemical changes in our bodies, we do have the power to control our expressions of emotions and our behaviors. We are in control of our own bodies. Even our thoughts, though we get random ones throughout the day and sometimes thoughts just pop into our heads that are ridiculous or irrational; we still have the power and control to tell ourselves they are just that.

I get many people that get anxieties and worries about things that are outside of them and that they cannot control. That reminds me of the serenity prayer: "Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference." You can interchange the first word of change with control. Many people make themselves sick thinking about things they have no control over. If you can focus that energy onto something you do have control over (you), you might find yourself feeling better and achieving a greater sense of awareness.

Fear of losing control is a trickier one. The thing with that is to realize that we really don't have that much control over anything other than ourselves. So you can go ahead and fear losing something or someone and it is valid and we all fear loss, but when it comes down to it, we do not have control over those things we think we do. Again, people can make themselves sick with the thoughts of losing control over their world. The trick is to appreciate, value, respect, and nurture the things that we have, while we have them. But we do not control them. The only thing we control is ourselves. Acceptance of this comes with a clear differentiation of self and a being ok and confident with who you are.