Uses coercion and threats vs. Negotiation and fairness: seeks mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict; accepts change; is willing to compromise.
Uses intimidation vs. Non-threatening behavior: talks and acts so that she feels safe and comfortable expressing herself and doing things.
Uses emotional abuse vs. Respect: listens to her non-judgmentally; is emotionally affirming and understanding; values opinions.
Uses isolation vs. Trust and support: supports her goals in life; respects her rights to her own feelings, friends, activities and opinions.
Minimizes, denies, blames vs. Honesty and accountability: accepts responsibility for self; acknowledges past use of violence, admits being wrong; communicates openly and truthfully.
Uses children vs. Responsible parenting: shares parental responsibilities; is a positive non-violent role model for the children.
Uses male privilege vs. Shared responsibility: mutually agrees on a fair distribution of work; makes family decisions together.
Uses economic abuse vs. Economic partnership: makes money decisions together; makes sure both partners benefit from financial arrangements.
Relationship based on power and control vs. Relationship based on Equality
Information provided by Duluth Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
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